A cuppa with a dash of whiskey and an electrical boyfriend in hand, that's how I would end my nights. I would love it if my dildo gets replaced with a real prick soon, I'm growing older and am getting a tad bit impatient.

Playing tennis was a way for me to release tension for years. Nowadays, I am often disappointed that it doesn't give me the same thrill anymore. Maybe fucking a dipstick would make me feel better, maybe those of the younger variety will do.

There's something about a lad who knows his way around the kitchen that makes me want to fuck me hard. I am not a good cook, but I think my body is tasty enough to offset that. You do all the cooking, and I'll be in charge of all the eating.

Never would have thought that a woman at my age would still get wet dreams. So you would have imagined how shocked I was when I woke up to my knickers soaked and my cunt aching for a fuck. I was so wet that I didn't have to wait to sink my fingers in...

Flowers and sweets are nice, but I would rather receive the best fucking shagging experience there is with a fit young bloke. I don't want to waste my time imagining the things I might miss out just because of my age.